LindseyMommy's Blog

My Life in the Sandbox

Trying again July 23, 2010

Filed under: Baby — lindseymommy @ 2:59 pm

For months and months – well over a year, we’ve been trying for a baby.

There have been cycles that we haven’t tried for one reason or another (surgery, sickness, etc).   

Last month we tried, no go.  We’re back in “cycle week” again this week and I can’t help, even after all these unsucessful cycles, to hope with all of my heart that this will be our month. 

It’s such a hard cycle of ups and downs, trying to conceive for so long.  You hope for 3 weeks each month, thinking, this is the month.  I know it worked.   You carefully schedule time with your husband, to optimize your chances.  And then, your hopes are dashed the instant your period arrives.   Doesn’t help your PMS.

I lost use of my right ovary and tube ofter my first surgery in March 2009.  So half of the months we try, we know the chances are slim to none.  But we still have to try. 

I want a baby in my arms, MY baby,  and I want a sibling for Ava, a biological child for Michael that he can experience from “go”.  I know the joy we’d all have if this happens.  Our families too. 

So now, fingers crossed for the next 2.5 weeks.

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The baby thing. October 25, 2009

Filed under: Baby — lindseymommy @ 10:22 am

Back when we started trying – back during The Case of the Missing Ovary, I’m really not even sure how much I even wanted a baby.

 

Ava can be quite the handful.  I love working out every morning. I love the independence of having a preschooler.  I love that my body’s better than it’s ever been. I love(d?) my job. 

 

Pregnancy sucked.  But I think it sucked worse because I was single, out of shape, and scared out of my mind.  I don’t think it’s going to suck as bad this time.

 

In any case, as the months have gone by, though, and we talk to Ava about someday having a brother or a sister – and she is so excited, she can’t wait – she has invisible brothers and sisters (Brothers, Abraham and Dillon – and 7 sisters who went on vacation about a month ago and haven’t come back.).  Her excitement has me excited. 

 

My contentedness with my strength and my body has me ready.  My comfort and security in my marriage has me excited.   And as the months have gone by I feel less threatened by the changes it will bring and I feel so much more that there is a person, a member of our family, who we haven’t met yet, and I want him/her here,  Now. 

 

This month we’re going to get OPKs.  Might as well try to strengthen our chances a bit.  At least to know we’re trying at the right time.